Gaya phir aaj ka din bhi ...

Hi friends,

Listening Gazhals is one of my pastime. In my collection, there is a cassette named “together” which contains some of ghazals sung by trio - Pankaj Udhas, Talat Aziz and Ghulam Ali. Last night, lying on my bed, I was listening to a song recited by Pankaj Udhas whose lyrics goes like this –

“Kisi ne bhi to na dekha nigah bharke mujhe,
gaya phir aaj ka din bhi udhas karke mujhe…”

I had heard it several times before also but this time I was in relaxed mood and started analyzing the lyrics. After listening the entire song I came to conclusion that the song was written on behalf of a person who is lonely (take it as lonely in love life) and searching for a partner. I tried to fit myself into that character for which the song has been written. Then the series of thoughts started flowing as follows

“Whenever I visit some decent/plush hotels or cinema halls or the part of my own company campus where the training (also accommodation during the training period) is given to new comers, I can see a lot of young couples (or pairs) moving together. Usually they are seen gossiping over a cup of coffee, or sitting hand in hand watching movie in theatre or roaming around freely in arms. In our office canteens also I can see lot of pairs over tea/lunch time. Looking them sometimes I ask myself – “Why am I lonely? Or why am I not like them?” and searching the answers, my thought process went back to my childhood. Having come from a small town devoid of all the colorful things of a big city, my impression was that the things like love and romance would happen only in cinema. It is only after getting into college, I started to see and hear about such instances happen. As usual these kinds of things were the hot topics discussed amongst friends. Since I kept my focus totally on studies, I just used to hear these kinds of gossips from one ear and leave them from another. The strange environment of our class where boys and girls seldom talked to each other also helped the cause of keeping me away from girls’ community. Obviously as a result I couldn’t make a single friend amongst girls of my class leave aside the whole college. After having said all these, do you think am I basically shy with Girls? No not at all, after I left college and joined the current firm, things started changing. I made some good friends amongst girls also at my work place. “But a girlfriend or a special someone?” answer is “No results found” in software terms. Though I am not part of any of such interesting stories, hearing about experiences of others is really a pleasure. One my colleagues have dated with as many as 34 girls and two of my college friends are committed (not married) to each other for the past 14 years and they are going to marry early next year. I asked myself whether I can emulate such a feat. The answer came “No” and surely it is not my cup of tea. With this conclusion, the mind started coming out slowly of these thoughts. I then convinced myself that someone will be there somewhere for me and one day I will find her. Till then there are other better things in life to do”.

Coming out of this hangover, I saw the time, it was half past 11 at night, but still the arrival of sleep seemed to be a bit late. The music system playing the cassette had gone quiet. I rewound the cassette and switched the system on. Then I just turned to my right and saw the book John Wright’s “Indian Summers” lying beside me. I smiled and took that book and continued reading from where I had left previously. While reading, in between I could hear Pankaj Udhas in his great voice singing “…Gaya phir aaj ka din bhi udhas karke mujhe…”.

Thanks and Regards,
Chetan